this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
