In the future we'll all be gay
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize