Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
