Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
