would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
How external is "for external use only"?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
pray to the hookup gods
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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