Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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