I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
