Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
