we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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