im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Randomize
