don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
