hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
