you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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