I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I did not marry a roomba.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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