he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
