New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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