Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
