We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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