I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
