is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
