she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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