We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
