I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
