I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
