Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
well you can't waste a boner
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
