She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
