i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
