He asked me if I "almost moaned"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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