Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
