There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
