if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
