FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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