If i come over, it means nothing
Too much gin, very little bucket
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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