I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
