wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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