I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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