It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
