How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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