your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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