I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
