I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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