I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
