I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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