so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize