at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
