Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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