yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She's JV to your varsity
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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