Sry I called you an 8
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
