i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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