vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
