shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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