Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
