"it" just moved
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
