I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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