just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
