Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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