Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
