well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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