That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize