I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
