If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
