Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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